I feel bad.

I kind of lost it with one of my science classes the other day.  I didn’t freak out.  I didn’t actually lose my cool.  I just had to change the lesson midway through and go all “old school” on their butts.  That’s how the cool people used to say it.  I think.

The original lesson was supposed to be part of my ongoing practice of scientific inquiry and investigation, and I decided to use the heart rate lab, since it would get my kids used to collecting and analyzing numeric data.  It’s an incredibly simple concept and it’s great since it get middle school kids out of their chairs and doing something active.  And it had gone great, until that afternoon class.

They just didn’t seem interested.  Worse than that, they weren’t interested in anything I had to say.  They were being mean to each other, immature, and generally out of their minds.  I told them after class that I didn’t even recognize them; they were a class that I looked forward to seeing every day, but this time they were a totally different class.

So, I gave them an individual assignment to do in complete silence.  Yep, just like the old school.  It was depressing.

And they didn’t even break out into a flash mob halfway through.

I was bored.  They were bored.  I hated it.  But they settled down.  They were quiet and they all finished the assignment.  Maybe that’s what’s so depressing.

These kids are trained to behave this way under these circumstances.   When they walk into a classroom like mine–relatively relaxed, where they are more free to take care of their own responsibilities and to voice their thoughts–every once in while, they run into a sort of dissonance.  They lose track.  They are kids, after all, and are apt to forget themselves when they’ve left strict theaters of discipline.

It could have been much worse, though.

I have structure, to be sure.  But I do not have a rigid plan for every single day.  I want my students to help guide me through their thoughts and curiosities about the material.  I want them to help me design the lessons past my own pre-planned guide.  I want them to refuse with me to follow the “standardized classroom” model that we are all starting to adopt in our districts, but in a way that’s respectful, productive, and fun.

Sometimes that’s hard for them.

So, I will have a heart-to-heart with them about who we are, why we’re here, and where we’re going.  I know this won’t be the last time this happens.  Some of their other classes are stifling, module-ran, standardized test-prep sessions that leave them wanting to burst out and be preteens again.  They will probably do it in my classroom again.  It may again be inappropriate.

I will do my best to collect us back into sanity and collegiality as a group.  I will do my best not to resort to “old school” tactics.  Lastly, I hope that my colleagues will realize that these students aren’t doing their best learning or thinking under standardized and module-driven conditions.  They want to belong and they want to contribute.  Otherwise, they get frustrated and they burst.  In my classroom.

When Kris isn’t going all gangsta on his students, he’s whipping the crap outta the corporate education reformers in his newly released book, Uncommon: The Grassroots Movement to Save Our Children and Their Schools.  You’re dying to read it!