A hearty New Year’s Eve congratulations to all the amazing celebrities who may or may not be publicizing a ginormous baby bump and asking for shared sacrifice at Occupy Youtube, even if someone in a man cave is conspiring blowback, irritated at the new normal in pop culture. This misanthrope (probably a pet parent for a python) is scheming to win the future by trickeration. For all emergency responders who foil this nefarious planned deed, I thank you in advance.

If you hadn’t guessed already, the annual Lake Superior State University List of Words Banished from the Queen’s English for Misuse, Overuse and General Uselessness has now appeared for the start of 2012.

At the end of last year I took a cold, hard look at my own predictions from 2008 but didn’t make any significant ones of my own.¹ In the spirit of Rick Hess and Larry Ferlazzo, but with much less risk, I will venture the following Safe Predictions for 2012 Education News:

1. There will be a well-publicized cheating scandal, with a broad variety of conclusions drawn by commentators. Those conclusions will include the ridiculous.
2. Teen fertility and crime rates will go up or down or stay stable, with a broad variety of conclusions drawn by commentators. Those conclusions will include the ridiculous.
3. Test scores shall be published, with a broad variety of conclusions drawn by commentators. Those conclusions will include the ridiculous.
4. There will be fraud that a reporter discovers was committed by for-profit companies contracting with school districts or states. This will prompt precisely zero policy change during the year in any state, except perhaps loosening of regulations on for-profit companies taking public funds for schooling.
5. Someone will use the term “defender(s) of the status quo” in ad-hominem remarks attacking an opponent in education policy debates.
6. Someone (else) will use the term “corporate reformer” in ad-hominem remarks attacking an opponent in education policy debates.
7. At least two or three overpaid pundits/talking heads will use some aspect of consumer or popular culture to lament the decline of Western civilization and the corruption of youth. There will be nothing in the commentary but the ridiculous.²
8. The New York Times will publish a poorly-documented and factually-problematic trends story about education, childhood, or young adulthood. The Times will never publish any correction to factual errors in the story.
9. Both major party presidential candidates will say in speeches (and debates, if asked) that education is a critical priority for the country and for them personally.
10. There will be no reauthorization of the Elementary and Secondary Education Act during 2012.

So what are your predictions for education news in 2012?

Notes

1. I received a rear-view mirror with my Ph.D., not a crystal ball. [↩]
2. My prime candidates: George Will, Charles Krauthammer, Bill O’Reilly, Bill Maher, Robert Samuelson, Cal Thomas, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Bill Bennett, Cokie Roberts, and Sam Donaldson. [↩]

Related posts:

1. Education politics course, spring 2012 (draft syllabus)
2. Wherein I take the axe to my own ideas: evaluating predictions for 2008
3. 180,000 words served